Winter of Victory: Interlude #33

This is My War, My Love
By Sean Hillman

(Several weeks ago...somewhere in Geoff)

Ffiona parts the tree branch and stumbles down the wooded path. This is the way back to Cymeravon and it's the path she needs to take. Right now she is too tired and too excited to think about anything but the course ahead of her. Hitching her sword high on her back, Ffiona pushes her tired legs forward, knowing it is still a good two-day walk. She carries her white fur cap, now bloodied and stained, in one hand and a small personal journal in the other. Darian had gifted it to her to record the lives of their children, but she had found a slightly different use for it.

"Ffiona!" The sharp cry from behind turns her around suddenly. She hears the voice before she even knows there is anyone there. There is Darian running down the path after her. His expression is unreadable but seems to be stiff and uncertain - something very unusual for Darian Malthus. His steps close the space faster than she can process, and his arms crush her to him in a tight embrace. Ffiona winces a bit but lets the embrace linger as long as he needs.

After a few moments, Darian releases her and steps back a little to take her in. "Ffiona, why did you go to the Plane of Shadow without me?"

His expression is intense. Ffiona searches his face for a moment but decides there is little point in prolonging the inevitable. "Well you may as well get on with it, Darian."

His expression changes to one of slight bewilderment. "Get on with what?"

"The yelling, screaming, dressing me down, whatever it is you have planned." Ffiona steps back, further increasing the distance between them, and crosses her arms.

"I wasn't going to do any of those things," he answers, floundering a bit before recovering. "You still have not answered the question. I think I deserve an answer." Darian lets his own arms drop to his side.

"I went because I had to go. I didn't ask you to come with me because I had things to prove. I..." Ffiona hesitates a moment, knowing her own choice of words will likely make the situation worse. "...wanted to do something meaningful."

"Ffiona, what you did was dangerous. I know as well as anyone how dangerous `quests' can be. I have resources that could have helped, I have men..."

"Yes," she interrupts him and her face becomes darker. "I met them."

Darian sighs, clearly trying to keep hold of his emotions. "Ffiona, I am sorry about that. I was upset! I have friends and when they found out you were missing they wanted to help. I was so perplexed at times and I think the situation became confused. No one was trying to arrest you, they just wanted to help. It was my fault things became that chaotic."

"Why does everyone think I need help?! I am not a little girl, Darian! I am a woman and I have the right to walk any path I wish." Anger flares inside and she can no longer hold back the flood of emotions. "Everywhere I go I am called `Melwyn's Daughter' or `Darian's wife'. Is that all that I am? Have I just been passed from one owner to another? Everyone talks around me and about me but never TO me!" Taking a deep breath, she calms herself a little. "We are husband and wife but we are not equals, Darian. I need to be able to take care of myself and I do not always want to rely on you to protect me."

Darian takes his own deep breath and turns away for a moment. When he turns back she can see his pained expression very clearly.

"I am sorry if I seem over-protective at times. I know the dangers of this world very well and I want to keep you safe, but this is not just about my over-protectiveness. You just snuck off leaving only a letter. You did not tell me where or even why you were going, not really. Hurting the people who love you the most is a poor lesson to learn."

He is right of course, but what choice could she make? "Yes, it is and for that I am sorry, but I had to do this on my own and I was not sure you would understand that."

"I didn't understand it until now." Darian manages a small smile. "But that doesn't mean I am going to let you go alone in the future. You have proven yourself and now it's time to play it smart." He finishes with a quick nod and a look that shows he is already planning how to provide for her next mission.

Ffiona shakes her head. "No. You fought the giants and defeated them. This is my war, my love and I need to be able to be tested by it. I need to let it burn away the person I was - at least the parts that no longer fit me."

"Burn away parts of you? But what of the parts the I love? What of the dangers to all of you? What if ... what if it kills you?"

Ffiona smiles softly. "Even so."

"Well," Darian manages after long moments of silence, "if you won't take help, can you at least take some advice?"

"Advice is very welcome." Ffiona says, patting the book at her side. "And I am glad to take as much as I can get." With that she turns and walks away a few steps before stopping and turning around. Holding out her hand to him she speaks, "Well, come on then. Rule number one is `Never split up the party'."

After a moment's thoughtful hesitation, he strides over to her and takes her hand in his.